Last time I rambled a bit about certain book series that I just can’t stand – and the one rare shining example in which an author managed to totally redeem themselves after an awful first book.

Let’s be honest though – a crappy first book in a neverending series is not the worst offense an author can make. Rather it is the lesser of two evils – warning you away from that rotten corpse evermore. No, the best way to invoke hate is to take a good series and fuck it all up because you ran out of ideas. Hey, author people! There is NOTHING WRONG with ENDING a series while it is still good.* Hell, you’ve been wildly successful to make it to 10 books – why not start something new?!

The progenitor of this trend (in my mind at least) is Laurell K Hamilton with the Anita Blake series. I was a pretty strict science fiction or fantasy connoisseur in high school. Anita was my introduction to urban fantasy (at the time it was shelved as horror – because of the vampires – but is really a standard UF series. One set in an alternate version of modern-day earth where some form of magic or supernatural creatures exist as a part of mainstream society).

Thankfully, the series had been around for awhile when I finally discovered it, so I burned through those books. My best friend at the time (Megan, wow, haven’t heard from her since she got married) alternated buying the books with me as we argued over which we preferred. (She thought The Laughing Corpse was better than Circus of the Damned. No accounting for taste.) Hell, we even got my mom in on the series.

Then came the end. The 10th book. Now don’t get me wrong, there was sex or sexual tension in every single book up to that point. The love triangle was an ongoing part of the series – and the only time it bothered me was when Anita was exceptionally stupid about the whole thing. But the 10th book. Jesus fucking christ, it should have been shelved as erotica (or the now-burgeoning paranormal romance subgenre). Sex sex sex sex sex. Um, excuse me, Ms. Hamilton….but um, doesn’t Anita have a job? Something about raising zombies and hunting down mass murdering vampires with a dash of crime solving thrown in? Remember book 9? It had this amazing plot. The best of the damn series…..so could we get back to that please?

Apparently not. From that point on, every single Anita book was about sex, more sex and as many supernaturally-themed orgies as possible.

Anyone else exhausted?

I believe the current goal of the inexplicably on-going series is to get all of these people into bed with Anita at once.

This is prime example of a self-destructing series. It just imploded in on itself – and I will never touch another work by Hamilton again. Ever. If I wanted porn I would get my hands on some porn. What I wanted here was some fun times with vampires and lycanthropes and magic uses all running around killing people and fucking with American politics. All things found in the first half of the series.

Which brings us to the latest in a long line of authors who just don’t know when to quit. Charlaine Harris, author of the Sookie Stackhouse books (basis of True Blood). I stumbled upon Sookie at a used book store not too long after abandoning the sinking ship that was Anita. Due to this method of procurement, I read the series out of order until the last two books. That didn’t matter though – what we had here was fun series with vampires and lycanthropes and magic uses all running around killing and fucking with the daily lives of people in the South. Ms. Harris built a far more complete world that Hamilton even managed – as was proven by various short story/novella contributions to UF anthologies that did not focus on the lives of the main characters.

Alas, this has not saved her. First came book 9 (a truly awful installment in a once fine series), and then, the recently released Last Chance, book 10. Admittedly not as horrific as its predecessor, but still pretty damn bad.

Note: Sookie has derailed off a different track than Anita. When Anita ran out of things to do, she just started  a train of nonstop orgies. Sookie is not going that route (no matter how much the producers of True Blood may wish it to happen). She is, however, boring. Boring and predictable. Harris is bored writing her – and we’re bored reading her. Oh-noes-the-vampire-boyfriend’s-vampire-parent-doesn’t-like-me. How many times have we done that storyline? Oh-noes-my-family-is-crazy-and-doesn’t-appreciate-me. Yes, I remember. Oh-noes-my-ex-doesn’t-like-my-current-boyfriend-but-still-wants-to-sleep-with-me. WE GET IT SOOKIE IS IRRESISTIBLE (actually, I don’t get it. Whining must be a big turn on in the South).

The point is – the series is done. Harris could salvage it by going with a new main character – one she isn’t so damn bored with – but I won’t be holding my breath to find out. Goodbye Sookie, due to constant repetition, I am certain I can already summarize the plot of the next book, and thus your existence is no longer of interest to me.

I feel as though I am unfairly trashing the UF genre as the sole progenitor of this transgression – but be assured, they are not alone. Once upon a time, Draconismoi read mystery/thrillers too. Once upon a time Draconismoi was a fan of Iris Johansen‘s Eve Duncan…..until the repetition soured me to her works. I know the U.S. is #1 in terms of serial killers, but really, does every single one of them need to develop an obsession with the same damn woman? Does said obsession always need to be used as a wedge between her and ex-special-forces guy? Also: if you are a goddamn genius psychopath, wouldn’t you have the sense not to piss off the Navy SEAL/assassin/FBI/ninja master guy by repeatedly tormenting his girlfriend and kid? There have got to be easier targets.

See? It is not a genre specific failing. Authors get stuck. It is understandable after so many books focusing on one person. MOVE THE FUCK ON ALREADY. Don’t just rehash your same plots from previous books – it is irritating when your characters just repeat the same events again and again without learning anything. And when you get tired of the series you are writing, START A NEW ONE. Maybe even in a different genre. Then perhaps you can salvage your career before alienating all yours fans to such an extreme they wouldn’t even consider touching a new offering in the event you work up the never to come up with one.

*This sentiment applies equally to television series and film franchises. Hint, hint, Heroes.