17 years. Congratulations!

If I were gainfully employed, I’d be pretty irate that the ‘traditional gifts‘ list for anniversaries does not actually provide any hints for year 17. They go every year up to 15 – and then you are ‘traditionally’ exempt from gift giving except for those 5 year markers.  Probably has something to do with the relative cost differential between years 15 and 20.

But I digress.

Happy anniversary parental units! As a gift for the both of you I declined to call and rant about the ridiculously gendered connotations of the so-called traditional themes for anniversary gifts.

And your gift is in the mail…..or it would be if the post office hadn’t taken exception to my packaging style. So it’ll be in the mail on Tuesday. Which, considering Boston, means you’ll get it sometime in July.

Enjoy your weekend alone with Regi!

In other father’s day news, it seems a study was done comparing sitcom dads with real life dads…..and that the real life versions failed to measure up.

She showed episodes from eight comedies to 108 college students. The programs were as diverse as The George Lopez Show, The Simpsons, My Wife and Kids and Everyone Loves Raymond. She asked the students to rate TV fathers and their own on such qualities as support, guidance, acceptance of other family members and oppositional behavior (for example, ridiculing children). On every measure, TV fathers were rated significantly better than the students’ own dads.

But no worries dad! You are totally a better parent than Homer Simpson! You know my name, you’ve never caused a nuclear event in our town, you have more than one operating brain cell…..

Now that I think about it, its a little disturbing that college students think Home Simpson is a superior parent. And Raymond? Did he ever even interact with his kids on the show? The rest of the study has kids blaming work for their father’s substandard parenting.

Children from white-collar families portrayed their fathers as tethered to BlackBerrys and e-mail, fearful of losing their jobs. “One girl said: ‘So that’s why he makes pancakes on the weekend. He feels guilty,’ “

Well MY dad made FRENCH TOAST on the weekends. That’s way better than pancakes. I win!

Well. Pet stores sell mice as food……guess puppies are the next step.

I’m a little concerned about the cooking oil though.

Its official. Two week and two rounds of brand new ink cartridges, head cleanings, alignments, shaking, swearing and duct tape. My printer is dead.

A moment of silence please.

Thankfully we get free printing at school. Sure, I won’t be able to do color printing, but resumes and papers will run off smoothly.

Damnit. No more printing of pics and stuff for my walls.

And yes, a small paranoid part of me knows that it worked just fine until my roommates came in and messed with it. They said it didn’t work, I scoffed, and then it no longer worked. I dunno what they did to it. But its dead. Sigh.

This is going to make printing off eTickets a pain in the ass.

No more homework, yay!

Revel in that knowledge. Really truly. Because you will need it when rent and bills and student loans start kicking your ass.

But most important of all…..you MUST HAVE INTERNET!!!!

Okay? Promise?

Happy graduation Linfield people (except Juli)! I hope its not cold and rainy for you.

Remember to send me your new addresses so whenever I get around to mailing this stuff to you, you will actually get it.

Almost done! Soon you will graduate and enter the mythical “real world” (since you are all smarter than me and decided to call it quits after 4 years). Supposedly your college education has prepped you for success in life?

Or has it? Some say (I am totally referencing Non Sequiter right there) that higher education merely showes higher conformity. Here is my favorite bit:

Employers prefer college grads because they see a college degree chiefly as mark of one’s ability to obey and conform. Whatever else you learn in college, you learn to sit still for long periods while appearing to be awake….although no college has yet been honest enough to offer a degree in seat-warming.

Granted I am seeing this through the lens of a year of law school….and it seems more applicable now. Particularly

Or maybe what attracts employers to college grads is the scent of desperation.

But I am sure it is just as applicable to the B.A. and B.S.

Yes, you have to be logged in to post a comment. But stop bitching, you have ALWAYS had to be logged in to post a comment…..have you not noticed that your posts have names on them? Hmmmm? Go take a peek at the comment threads for any freaking post and you’ll easily be able to see who said it because they were (gasp!) logged in.

And if you have a problem with logging in, then I will take it off and you can deal with the SPAM. Any offers? Didn’t think so.

Yesterday was Katherine’s birthday. She is REALLY old now. So we have to excuse her lack of posting – old people have trouble with the new fangled technology.

She DID find time to hook up with some babe and get her number. Finals are frying my brain, so it is up to you dear readers, to provide dirty jokes and innuendo. Remember, Katherine’s a blusher.

It is the sound of my stress level plummeting to tolerable levels.

Wow wow wow wow wow wow.

My parents are frakking awesome! Particularly my dad. Completely wonderfully awesome. There are no words.

I can go buy some clothes. That I really do need, because my limited wardrobe is getting ragged. (Even a bra. Which I was not looking forward to. But my only bra died and I do need the one…apparently the only place to get a good bra for the small chested is an independent lingerie store. I’ve spent hours at work searching feminist blogs for tips on this. But I digress).

I can buy food outside the carb section (meat, fruit, dairy)!

I can pay rent! And electricity. And Internet. BEFORE getting paid. I can relax.

I can buy a book. Something by Molly Ivins (who sadly died recently, which means I can get none of her wit on AlterNet) and “The Quotable Atheist” because I am regularly asked about my spiritual and religious beliefs lately. Apparently the ‘pagan-dabbling atheist’ thing is spreading around and people want details.

I can go out to eat somewhere that doesn’t have a dollar menu. I can even order a drink with dinner. I can go see a movie (not that anything I want to see is playing) or a play. I could go to the Rebellious Lawyering Conference next weekend.

See all this hope? Thank you thank you thank you!

Now that I am officially 22, I am not the youngest person in the law school. Well, I still AM the youngest, but it won’t be obvious anymore.

Funny…I was expecting this birthday to kinda suck with all the homework and nothing much else. But its only been an hour and I was already surprised with pizzas as soon as I came home from work.

I will continue to update the various ways I am being spoiled as the day continues. For now I intend to sleep.

Cheesecake for breakfast! Mmmmmm….

Package from my parents. It has food in it! And some sweaters. Which is wonderful because its cold today and I need to go do laundry. Whoo-hoo! My mom also made us a cool kitchen rug. Steph said its “cute.” Hah! It is NOT cute. Its frakking cool with bright colors.

The food includes tomato soup. Not cool. I screamed and immediately thought “oh shit! What’d I do? Shit! They can’t punish me any more!. I am a goddamn grownup!….Why are my roommates staring at me like I am a dangerous beast?” Then I had to explain the reaction. The roomies now think my parents are insane. Imagine that.

And ooooo. $$$. I LOVE my parents. They are so cool! I can buy food! Real food! Not just rice or the dollar menu. And feed my caffiene addiction (dear goddess I am horribly addicted, but its my birthday so it doesn’t matter). I was going to go on a wonderous food shopping spree today…but Bank of America is just saying I have a “pending transaction” and the “funds will be available on the next business day.” Frak. That’s Tuesday. Oh well, I can gorge myself then! HAHA!

Speaking of Frak. BSG is on tomorrow. Looks good. Everyone should watch it.

Juli sent me a package too. My favorite part is the voodoo doll kit. Next time someone at school messes with me, I am whipping this baby out. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! Now this is what I call stress relief. And we even discussed in criminal law why it is not illegal to attack someone with voodun or witchcraft under the Model Penal Code. I am safe!

This has been a fabulous day. No stress. Free caffiene. Cheesecake for breakfast. Presents. Future promise of $$. All wonderful. It should be my birthday more often.